I will keep this short. I’m positive that words will be
forever inadequate to capture 2020. As for
symbolism, 20/20 serves as an ironic metaphor for a world that lost all its
bearings and consequently vision, a cosmic joke—where (God, or the universe, insert
your own favorite) said: you think you actually
know anything? (“hold my beer” as
the kids say with their crazy memes!).
I had a notecard on my desk that I wrote at the beginning of
last year, when I am in these contemplative moods and write really grandiose
shit. It said something about “study stoicism—this will be important this year.” Was there ever a year that called for more
stoicism? Rome is burning. Fuck it, we
will build something better. Lest you
thought I was slipping into cynicism, I will share that I am quite optimistic
and hopeful. In fact, I study both hope and optimism and I’m confident that I have
never had a firmer grasp on both, but, I would be lying to you if I said I wasn’t
angry. Here’s a secret to life--you can
be all the above. If you have to grieve
a world lost, you’re entitled to all the emotions. So, if you see me on the street (when we get
our lives back) please stop me, because I probably won’t be paying attention,
and I will most likely tell you that I have missed you, and that I love you,
and that you will be cordially invited to some type of potluck in the future.
I will save you the time of asking, because this is what I
get asked most frequently:
How are the kids—“The Kids Are All Right” (more resilient
than I could have imagined)
How is work? It is
what it is. Not that I dislike my work—I
work in healthcare, and most frequently with those suffering. 2020 sucked.
How is school? It is
what it is. I spent five years
developing an applied design for the workplace. Global pandemic happened and
everyone went virtual!!!!!!!!!!!! 2020 sucked.
Are you reading?
(everyone tends to ask this when they are deeply concerned about me, I suppose
because I was always recommending something).
The answer is not really, and I’m ok.
Are you writing? No, that version of me is deep in
hibernation. The heart is in other
spaces for now.
I said I would keep this short, and that 2020 had “no words.” But, that does not mean I had nothing to say
about it. I’ll share one last
thing. I had a gorgeous moment this year
where I realized I had gotten to this place:
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a
field. I will meet you there, when the
soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.” --Rumi
“If someone asks, this is where I’ll be.” --David Byrne
